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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
看阳台上老爸用破水桶盛着发财树 -
看阳台上老爸用破水桶盛着发财树，笑话他真会过日子，弄个那么丑的破水桶做花盆。
老爸鄙视的看着我说：“你这智商也不知道像谁？！发财树啊，你用金盆装着它就骄傲了，必须用破盆，它就明白咱家穷，拼命想给咱家带来财运，自己努力给自己挣个好盆！” -
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
我说喜欢了一个很优秀的男生 -
我说喜欢了一个很优秀的男生，但是感觉没机会。
我妈说你怕啥，你虽然差劲，但能有机会接触到这么好的人，说明他命中注定有此一劫。 -
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
躺着玩手机的时候 -
躺着玩手机的时候，突然无线网断了，懒得动弹，就喊妈妈说：妈，我断网了！你去看一下呗。
妈妈瞪了我一眼，说：自己去，还以为自己没断奶呀！ -
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
陪老婆回娘家 -
陪老婆回娘家，恰逢小姨子23岁生日，我发了23块钱红包，她说我抠门。
后来丈母娘在厨房对小姨子说：“以后不要这样说你姐夫，他抠门是因为没钱，而他没钱是因为娶了你姐啊。” -
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
Mother Mouse鼠妈妈 -
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.she watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.mother mouse barked fiercely, "woof, woof, woof!" the cat was so terrified that it ran for its life.mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "now, do you understand the value of a second language?"老鼠妈妈带着孩子们散步的时候看见一只猫躲在树丛后面。她盯着猫，猫……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
Are you a normal person?你是正常人吗？ -
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ..., "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would c……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
New Discovery 新发现 -
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
Three Surgeons 三个外科医生 -
Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "a man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "today that man is a concert violinist.""that's nothing," said another. "a guy came to me who had his legs cut off. i stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""i can top both of you," said the third. "one da……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:04
Creative创造性 -
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我……
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