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匿名 2022-04-09 23:13:26
The Same Service 同样的服务 -
A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor."when i was first married, i was very happy. i'd come home from a hard day down at the shop, and my little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers. now everything's changed. when i come home, my dog brings me my slippers, and my wife barks at me.""i don't know what ……
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匿名 2022-04-09 23:13:26
Keys? Kiss?钥匙还是接吻 -
A friend of mine was giving an english lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the united states. after placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. the class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my ……
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匿名 2022-04-08 20:24:19
我跟妹妹说 -
我跟妹妹说:你闺蜜同学不少,给我介绍个对象呗,总不能让你哥我这么单着啊。
妹妹:可以,不过得等等。
我:等到什么时候?
妹妹:等我想跟谁绝交的时候。
我。。。 - 打赏
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匿名 2022-04-08 20:24:19
你这是咋的了 -
“哥,你这是咋的了?”
“唉,出车祸了!”
“啊,车祸?哥,你这伤怎么看也不像是出车祸的啊!”
“尼玛,哪不像?”
“车祸,怎么你全是脸上一道道抓痕?”
“老婆要我给他清空购物车,我不同意,吵了几句,被老婆抓脸了,不是车祸是啥?” - 打赏
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匿名 2022-04-08 20:24:19
咱们关系怎么样 -
哥们:咱们关系怎么样?
我:很铁!
哥们:那好,既然这样,我跟你借钱的话你愿意借多少?
我:60块。
哥们:靠,都很铁的关系你才借60?
我:对啊,废铁一斤5毛,你120斤。
哥们。。。 - 打赏
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匿名 2022-04-08 20:24:19
看到姑姑在化妆 -
看到姑姑在化妆,小侄女跑过来:“姑姑,我也要化妆。”
“小丫头,你化什么妆?”
“姑姑,我们班上有个男孩……”
“瞧不出来啊,才上一年级,就有男朋友了?是不是想好看点,让他更喜欢你?”
“不,他太讨厌,我要像你这样化个妆,吓死他!”
“滚。。。” - 打赏
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匿名 2022-04-08 20:24:19
请问您这次获得摩托车世锦赛冠军 -
“请问您这次获得摩托车世锦赛冠军,是在哪里培训的,进步如此神速?”
“我以前是送外卖的。” - 打赏
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匿名 2022-04-07 19:53:04
因为人太多 -
坐公交,因为人太多,有一女的就把窗户开了一点,旁边一老头很凶的说:“我不能吹风。”砰的把窗户关了。
那女的也很生气的说:“你是骨灰啊,一吹就散啊?!”
老头$#%^$#% - 打赏
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匿名 2022-04-07 19:53:04
把我的干锅牛蛙换成毛血旺吧 -
我:“服务员,把我的干锅牛蛙换成毛血旺吧。”
服务员:“好的。”
我:“还没做呀,那不要了。” - 打赏