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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
New Discovery 新发现 -
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼,看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
Three Surgeons 三个外科医生 -
Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "a man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "today that man is a concert violinist.""that's nothing," said another. "a guy came to me who had his legs cut off. i stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""i can top both of you," said the third. "one da……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:04
Creative创造性 -
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.第一次求职时,我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时,得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时,我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:15:10
发自内心的漂亮 -
一天女友问我:“你觉得我长得怎么样?”
我回:“发自内心的漂亮!”
女友一脸娇羞:“讨厌!”
我不怕死滴补了一句:“可表面杂就一点都看不出来呢!” - 打赏
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:15:10
有现场么 -
有一天突然接到一女客户电话:你们保险到底保什么啊?
答:保意外事故啊。
她:那意外怀孕有赔么?
我回她道:有现场么?
嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟。。。她挂了。。。 - 打赏
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匿名 2022-03-19 22:59:50
最喜欢撒谎 -
“你吸烟吗?”雇主问求职的青年。
“不!”年轻人肯定地回答。
“喝酒吗?”
“不!”
“爱玩儿吗?”
“不!”
“那么你什么嗜好也没有?”雇主惊讶地问。
“哦,有的。我最喜欢撒谎。” - 打赏
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匿名 2022-03-19 22:59:50
怕它踢我 -
农夫家的母猪不下崽,遂带其去兽医院看病。
兽医检查完之后说:“这只猪得了不孕症,不过用人工授精可以解决不孕的问题。”
农夫愣在当场,半响后,农夫扭捏地说:“行是行,就怕……它踢我啊……” - 打赏
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匿名 2022-03-19 22:59:50
坐我的车吧 -
我有两个哥们,去酒吧钓美女,其中一个装成大款的样子,在酒吧泡到妹子以后,勾着两个妹子走出酒吧就往一辆跑车走去,另一个急忙说,张总,别别,你都喝多了,别开车了,坐我的车吧~!一边说一边拉着他走到奇瑞旁边,结果那两个妹子也跟着进了奇瑞。其实他们就是开的奇瑞去的。
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匿名 2022-03-19 22:59:50
懒师拜懒徒 -
一个游手好闲的浪子,只恨自己懒得不到家,想找一处学懒店去进修一番。一天,他打听到一处学懒店,便往那里走去。到了学懒店门口,他转身倒退着进了门。学懒店的师傅大喝一声:“呔,为什么不用脸对着我?”浪子仍然背对师傅答道:“师父息怒,我想来时背对着师父,辞别时就可以不用转身了。”师傅一听,瞠目结舌。待了一会儿,他才如梦初醒地说:“你比我还懒,我可尊你为师了。”……
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匿名 2022-03-19 22:59:50
牛奶老板,我是在把牛奶倒进水里! -
牛奶老板:看到我在做什么吗?
员工说:老板,您在把水倒进牛奶里。
牛奶老板说:我是在把牛奶倒进水里。
牛奶老板告诫员工:我们作假已经很糟糕了,要是在对客户撒谎,那就太说不过去了。” - 打赏



