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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
only once只有一次 -
A novice lion tamer was being interviewed. "i understand your father was also a lion tamer," the reporter queried."yes, he was," the man replied."do you actually put your head in the lion's mouth?""i did it only once," said the new tamer, "to look for dad."一位驯狮新手正在接受采访。“我知道你的父亲也是个驯狮手，”记者说。“他过去是。”那人回答说。“你真的把头伸进过狮子的嘴里吗？”“只有一次，”那位驯狮新手说，“为了找我爸爸。”……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
starstruck追星族 -
I have been starstruck since i was a little girl, so i was delighted and practically speechless not long ago when i spotted the actor ernest borgnine walking in my direction on new york's fifth avenue. "why, you're ernest borgnine!" i managed to blurt out."yes," he said, nodding politely, "i know."从小时候起，我就一直被明星所深深吸引，因此不久以前当我在纽约第五大街上认出演员厄内斯特.波格尼向我迎面走过来时，我欣喜若狂，完……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
visual training视力训练 -
The squad were having "visual training". one smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so far away that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied:"sexteen men and a sergeant, sir.""right; but how do you know there's a sergeant there?""he's not doing a……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
West Point西点军校 -
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and as……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
校园与学渣的爆笑段子 -
1、就算老师讲的是个毛线，学霸也能把它织成毛衣。2、明明是学渣系统非要开启什么学霸模式，不仅耗电还特别卡。。。3、考试最崩溃的时候是看到一道题，模糊地记得老师讲过，但清晰地记得我没听。4、最霸气的期未考试标语：严肃考场纪律，违纪处分当日下达，全国包邮（比你先到家！）5、听说，有一种介于学霸和学渣之间的存在叫学酥，表面看起来像学霸，其实一碰都是渣渣！6、每次考试我都对自己说，开启学霸模式，可总有一种声音说您的配置过低，无法正常运行！7、考试就像得了病一样：考前是忧郁症，考时是健忘症，考后病情开始好转，拿回卷子时，心脏病就发作了~8、一个理科生看文艺书，旁人会说，你兴趣很广泛啊！一个文科生看理科书，旁人会说，你看得懂吗？9、学渣就像一个时钟：平时是时针，懒着不想动！考前一周是分针，开始加快自己预习的速度！考前一天是秒针，二十四小时不停的转啊转！但即便这样...也不能改变自己只能在0-59间徘徊……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
陪表侄儿看一本鸟类图鉴 -
陪表侄儿看一本鸟类图鉴，指着一对鸟告诉他：这是鸳鸯。
表侄儿立刻指着左边和右边分别说：这是清汤，这是麻辣。。。 -
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
你看人家电视里那孩子咋那么懂事 -
老公：你看人家电视里那孩子咋那么懂事，那么聪明呢？
儿子：你把我弄上电视我比他们都懂事。
老公$%^#$ -
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
今天和儿子走在天桥上 -
今天和儿子走在天桥上，上面有一个乞丐，拿个碗，碗里有1块5块的钱。
我们路过他跟前，他果然把碗，拿到了跟前，我沉默一会，便走了。
儿子问道：“妈妈刚才他给你钱你为啥不要啊？” -
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
上小学二年级的儿子 -
上小学二年级的儿子，期中考试成绩不理想。我语重心长地对他说：“儿子呀，你可要努力啊，爸爸这辈子最大的遗憾就是没考上北大，这个光荣的使命就靠你来完成了。。。”我的话还没说完，就被儿子打断了：“老师教导我们说，自己的事情自己做！”说完，他一溜烟儿跑出去玩儿了。……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
昨天给幼儿园的孩子们上课 -
昨天给幼儿园的孩子们上课，孩子们天真的问我：老师，你是什么老师啊？
这时我不假思索的回答道：我是郭老师啊！
孩子：是平底锅的锅老师吗？
我#$%#$%^%$& -
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