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匿名  2022-03-21 22:18:35

女友来公司找我

女友来公司找我,正好赶上午饭时间,问我要不要吃点什么。
我心里想的是:“不用啦,能看着你就很开心了,都感觉不到饿了。”
结果张嘴来了一句:“不用了,我一看你就饱了。”

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匿名  2022-03-21 22:18:35

男孩不道歉

男孩不道歉,女孩说:“连个对不起都没有?”
男孩道歉,女孩说:“对不起有什么用?”

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匿名  2022-03-21 22:18:35

耳机音量和空调温度

男:“你连自己的体重都无法控制,你还能控制什么?”
女:“耳机音量和空调温度。”

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匿名  2022-03-21 22:18:35

一女同事收到男朋友买的LV
一女同事收到男朋友买的LV,在同事面前炫耀。突然一男同事对那女同事说:我给你些钱你把发票卖我。女同事不解:你要发票干吗?男同事说:女朋友一直想要一个LV,可是太贵,买不起,有了发票买个假的哄女友开心。突然女同事发现了什么打电话给男友:发票多少钱买的。男朋友惊悚:这你都知道。……
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匿名  2022-03-21 22:18:35

感冒挺严重

感冒挺严重,医生说需要打针。
我到护士站,刚把半个屁股露出来,护士小姐姐在我胳膊上涂开了碘酒,然后温柔地看着我说:“把裤子穿上,皮试,打胳膊!”

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匿名  2022-03-21 22:18:35

女友问我

女友问我:亲爱的,你喜欢黑色还是粉色?
我一想着里面必有深意啊,于是回答说:当然是粉色啊!
她:我看中两个LV的包包,一个黑色一个粉色,不知道选哪个,既然你喜欢粉色,那你就帮我买粉色的吧!
我擦,这套路越来越深了啊。。。

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匿名  2022-03-20 22:27:04

Creative创造性
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.第一次求职时,我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时,得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时,我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我……
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匿名  2022-03-20 22:27:02

Three Surgeons 三个外科医生
Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "a man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "today that man is a concert violinist.""that's nothing," said another. "a guy came to me who had his legs cut off. i stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""i can top both of you," said the third. "one da……
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匿名  2022-03-20 22:27:02

New Discovery 新发现
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼,看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后……
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匿名  2022-03-20 22:27:02

Are you a normal person?你是正常人吗?
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ..., "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would c……
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